Coping with loneliness is more difficult for some than it is for others. In fact, loneliness can be exceptionally difficult if you’ve experienced trauma or loss in the past. It’s completely normal to feel like nobody understands what you’re going through and to struggle with moments of doubt, guilt, and fear. But if you’re also struggling with your mental health, these feelings often become a constant, repetitious melody. This leads to isolation and withdrawal. Consequently, feelings of loneliness become worse.
You’re Not Alone When You Feel Lonely
People are lonelier now than they were in 1990, and recently, researchers have gone so far as to say that Americans are living through a “loneliness epidemic.” A 2021 study showed that 15% of men and 10% of women have no close friends. While this data was collected during the early stages of the COVID-19 pandemic, loneliness persists. A different 2024 study still showed that 21% of American adults feel lonely.
Men and Loneliness
Men face unique societal, emotional, and structural challenges that contribute to their experiences of loneliness.
- Rigid masculinity norms: Men often avoid showing vulnerability, leading to emotional isolation and difficulty building close relationships.
- Declining social connections: Men today report fewer close friendships, often limited to shared activities, leaving little room for emotional support.
- Dating and relationship challenges: Modern dating norms, delayed marriage, and online rejection contribute to feelings of disconnection and loneliness.
- Digital substitutes: Virtual interactions, like gaming or social media, often replace meaningful face-to-face connections and can deepen isolation.
- Economic pressures: Financial stress and job instability make men feel inadequate, while provider expectations and isolating workplaces worsen social withdrawal.
- Mental health stigma: Fear of judgment and lack of male-specific support keep men from seeking help, leaving many to struggle in silence.
Loneliness Takes a Toll on Your Health
Research has consistently shown that loneliness is a risk factor for depression, anxiety, and suicidal thoughts. Feeling persistently lonely can also impact how well you respond to stress, regulate your mood, and even sleep since loneliness affects cortisol—a “stress hormone” that’s important in all of these functions.
Your physical health can also be affected by loneliness. It can affect your immune system and blood pressure and has even been associated with heart disease and trouble with wound healing. That means that loneliness could affect how often you get sick and how long it takes to get better when you do.
Social Connection and Addiction
Loneliness can be a risk factor for addiction since many people turn to drugs or alcohol to try and cope with the strong feelings it creates and the impact it has on their mental health. Once someone develops an addiction, they might feel even more isolated because of the social stigma attached to it. They may feel like there’s nowhere to turn or nobody who understands—or even wants to be around them.
Social connection is also a major part of recovery, and severe loneliness can be a factor for relapse. Healthy support networks and positive relationships can help people stay sober, and learning to build and maintain connections are skills that are taught in addiction treatment programs.
How to Cope with Loneliness
Remind Yourself That It’s Only a Feeling, and Feelings Are Normal
Loneliness feels bad. When you’re lonely, you may feel like everyone is having fun and enjoying life except for you. You may feel like you’re isolated and cut off. But the chances that you are truly alone—with no option to interact with anyone—are slim, and this is likely only a cognitive distortion. It’s important to remind yourself of that often.
It’s normal to feel lonely, sad, or inadequate sometimes, and being hard on yourself only makes it worse. Your feelings are valid and just as important as anyone else’s. Be kind to yourself, especially during tough moments, instead of being overly critical.
Practice Self-Care
Since loneliness has such a strong effect on your mental health, recognizing when you need a break and building healthy habits to support yourself can help. Self-care isn’t always sitting and journaling or meditating—although those practices can help. Try:
- Setting and following a routine
- Exercising and drinking water
- Working more nutritious foods into your diet
- Celebrating your wins, no matter how small you think they are
- Practicing positive self-talk
Make an Active Decision to Reach Out
Reach out to others when you feel loneliness settling in. Talk to your parents or your teacher. Tell a friend or sibling how you’re feeling. Make an effort to be around others, even if it means simply sitting on the couch in the presence of family. If you can’t physically be with your friends, talk to them on the phone or in a video chat. Do things that put you in the presence of others who care about you, even when you’d rather stay secluded in your room. Sometimes, just being an observer is enough to make you feel less isolated.
Foster Your Friendships
It’s easy to fall into a cycle of loneliness when you feel like you don’t have strong friendships or connections. But it’s important to remember that friendships take effort and time to grow and strengthen. Make an active effort to nurture your existing friendships by regularly checking in with your friends, making plans to hang out, and showing them care and support.
Find Help When You Need It
Sometimes, no amount of self-care or effort to reach out seems possible. That’s okay—help is available. Licensed professionals can help you find a path forward. Red Oak Recovery® offers men’s mental health and substance use disorder treatment at our serene campus in western North Carolina. As a men’s-only location, you’ll receive treatment that accounts for the unique challenges that you struggle with and get support from other men who are facing similar challenges.
You’re not alone. Reach out today by calling 828.382.9699 or contacting us online.
