Sometimes, life can make you feel stuck. You might not know why, but it can have you changing things without really even paying attention to what’s happening. This feeling might come when you’re overwhelmed. A fight with your partner might come to a head, work could be wearing you down, or you may even be trying to process the loss of a loved one. Have you tried reaching out for help? Or does that feel impossible, like you’re supposed to be able to handle it on your own?
How do you know if you need therapy?
It’s normal to feel like you need to handle everything by yourself. Chances are, you grew up with other people telling you that men take care of everything or solve problems. That if you reach out for help, you’re weak. But that’s not true. Getting support for your mental health can make it easier for you to take care of other parts of your life and make progress toward your goals.
Some things you experience might be clear signs you could benefit from therapy. Remember, though, that just because you experience one of these things does not mean that something is wrong. It’s still worth talking to someone about what you’re dealing with so you can get help if you do need it.
Signs you may need therapy
- Using drugs or alcohol to take the edge off
- Losing your appetite or eating too much
- Having trouble sleeping or sleeping too much
- Being out of energy most of the time
- Getting headaches, stomachaches, or joint pain
- Feeling hopeless or giving up things you like
- Lashing out or losing control of your anger
Self-help may not be enough
Working on yourself is a great thing to do. There is a lot of good information available today, including books, apps, movies, even things on social media. But is it worth it? And can you find what works for you? If you’ve already tried the self-help route, you’ve probably run into a couple of issues: the amount of information that’s out there and the types of messages that are popular.
A content overload
When you research “self-help depression” on Amazon, you’re met with a message that there are over 100,000 results. Workbooks, journals, books claiming to be the only one you’ll need to fix depression, and even non-prescription supplements all flood your screen, offering what seem like quick, easy ways to pull yourself out of a rut. Searching for the same thing on YouTube delivers video after video on an endless loop claiming to give you “easy” self-care tips, ways to “lift” your depression, “natural” methods to pull yourself up, and plenty of personal testimonies from people who have depression.
There is, undoubtedly, helpful information that you can find, but how long would it take you to actually discover something that works for you? If you start clicking through videos and seeing the things you’ve already tried that didn’t work being described as “quick fixes,” how will you feel? The truth is that your mental health is unique, and you need personal support. A therapist can help you cut through the noise and find ways that work for you.
Messages that make you feel worse
Unfortunately, among the posts, videos, self-care tips, and every other bit of content on the internet, there are also things that can make you feel worse. Even beyond the claims of quick fixes that didn’t work for you, there are messages that don’t truly support your wellness—especially content created “for men.”
You may have run across influencers who tell you that stoicism is the ideal way you should be living your life. That talking about your feelings is bad and leaning on vices to manage your stress is weak. That you should be able to handle everything life throws at you because you’re a man. But your brain doesn’t work like that. You deserve compassion and support, to be heard and to take time to listen. Turning to things like drugs and alcohol to escape the stress of life isn’t weakness, it may be the only way you knew how to cope. A therapist can give you the time, space, and tools you need to truly improve your mental health.
When is therapy needed for depression? What about other things?
Depression isn’t the only reason people go to therapy, but it is one of the most common mental health issues. Nearly one in four adults in North Carolina alone reported that they’ve been diagnosed with some form of depression in their lives. There are likely more who have never been to therapy or gotten any other help, too.
It may be time to find therapy or other mental health support for depression if you:
- Have thoughts of self-harm or suicide
- Have other symptoms that last for more than 2 weeks:
- Hopelessness
- Numbness
- Loss of interest
- Rely on drugs or alcohol to feel good
- Trouble sleeping or sleeping too much
- Lose your appetite or overeat
If you’re experiencing thoughts of suicide or self-harm, help is available. Call or text 988 to reach the crisis lifeline.
When it comes to depression, anxiety, or any other mental health concerns, it’s never too early to talk to someone. If things are getting in the way of your life or happiness, there is support for you. Different types of care are offered, including outpatient therapy, therapy sessions at specialized treatment programs, and even telehealth options.
What do you talk about in therapy?
During sessions with a therapist, you’ll talk a lot about your life. Your current challenges, what you’ve experienced, and what you’re looking forward to will all be on the table. Depending on your mental health, you’ll also discuss what you can do to improve it. You might talk about:
- Feelings of sadness, anger, or numbness
- Things that make you want to use drugs or alcohol
- Issues you’ve had with your friends, partner, or family
- How you feel you fit into the world and your identity
There is no single right thing to talk about in therapy. The most important thing to remember is that you don’t have to plan anything. You don’t have to have it all figured out before you go into a session. Just approach it with an open mind and a willingness to talk about things in the safe space. From there, your therapist will help you start moving forward.
Types of therapy that might work for you
Your needs during therapy will be different from everyone else’s. There is a wide range of methods that therapists can use. Many of them are evidence-based with plenty of research that supports how effective they are. Other types of therapy are less researched but can still be helpful for you, including things like experiential or holistic methods. Work with your therapist to find the best approach to supporting your specific needs.
Common therapy methods
- Cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT): A type of talk therapy (psychotherapy) that identifies thoughts and emotions and how they affect behaviors. CBT is a very common evidence-based therapy that’s used for many mental health conditions.
- Dialectical behavior therapy (DBT): A specific type of CBT that helps people learn to regulate their emotions and impulsive behaviors by learning to find a middle ground. Often used to treat people with addiction and personality disorders but can be effective for other things.
- Eye movement desensitization and reprocessing (EMDR): Uses bilateral (both sides of your body) stimulation to process traumatic experiences. EMDR can be especially helpful for people with PTSD or other mental health conditions that stem from trauma.
- Equine and equine-assisted therapy: Clients work with horses, grooming, feeding, interacting with, and sometimes even riding them as they’re led by therapists. An experiential therapy that’s highly effective for many people struggling with their mental health.
- Outdoor experiences: Being in nature is good for your mental health, and engaging in structured challenges can also be therapeutic. From group hikes to rock climbing, therapists help clients connect with nature, each other, and themselves.
Choosing a therapist and what to expect in your first session
Since you have your own unique needs, you’ll need a therapist with whom you can connect. When looking for a therapist, consider what you’re experiencing and look for someone who has experience treating it. You might be more comfortable speaking to a male or female therapist, so you should think of that, too. Your insurance coverage might also play a part, since your plan may pay for part or all of your therapy. If you’re in need of more support, like a program to help you stop drinking or using drugs, look for that program first and they’ll be able to connect you with the right therapist at their center.
It’s normal to be nervous about your first session. Therapists are trained to help new clients ease into the therapy process and get comfortable. They know that you’re probably not going to walk in and be ready to talk about everything right away. They’ll ask you some questions about yourself, what you’re looking for, and what you want to get out of therapy. There’s no pressure to perform or “do good” in the session.
Insurance, affordability, and telehealth
Your finances shouldn’t be a barrier to taking care of your mental health, but it’s normal to be concerned about paying for therapy. If you have insurance, talk with your carrier to find out if your plan covers therapy and if there are any things it doesn’t cover. You can also verify your coverage with the center you want to visit. If you don’t have insurance, you may be able to pay out of pocket rates for the treatment you need.
Telehealth might also be right for you, but it depends on your situation. For some things, like active substance use, relapse, self-harm, or eating disorders, you might have to go see a therapist in-person before you’re able to transition to a telehealth program. When you are eligible for telehealth, it can help you keep up with treatment without taking up too much of your schedule. If you live in a rural area or travel a lot, you can also use telehealth to talk to your therapist without having to take long breaks or commute to their office.
Red Oak Recovery® is a safe space for men
At our treatment center in Western North Carolina, we help men who are living with addiction and co-occurring mental health conditions. Our team of clinicians, including licensed therapists, can help you or a loved one find a better way forward. We know that every man who visits us for help has unique needs, which is why we develop personalized treatment plans that help them rebuild their connections with loved ones, leave drugs and alcohol behind, and figure out what truly matters to them.
We use evidence-based and experiential treatment methods, including plenty of time outdoors in the peaceful power of the Blue Ridge Mountains in our area. Red Oak isn’t just a gender-specific treatment center; it’s a refuge where men can feel safe and receive the support they need to make true changes in their lives. Reach out today by calling 828.382.9699 or contacting us online now.
